Zombieland

I'm feeling especially lazy today, so I am just going to copy and paste the synopsis for this movie from Rotten Tomatoes:

A cowardly shut-in named Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) is forced to join up with a seasoned zombie slayer named Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) in order to survive the zombie apocalypse. As Tallahassee sets out on a mission to find the last Twinkie on Earth, the duo meets up with Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), two young girls who have resorted to some rather unorthodox methods to survive amidst the chaos.

I watched this movie a couple days ago with my brother who recommended it highly. This movie came out about two years ago, and if I remember correctly, my initial impression was that it seemed like a good movie, but the zombie-gore might be a little much. This impression was fairly accurate. The movie was definitely entertaining, it was funny, and quirky, and silly. The narration done by Eisenberg was a welcome aspect, the first bit where Columbus is going over the rules of Zombieland definitely got me interested in the movie, but there was a little too much gore for my delicate self.

The part with Bill Murray was hilarious, and I guess the best way to describe this movie is just that it's entertaining. I did have some issue with the lack of back info. Columbus quickly explains the mad cow turned into mad people, and then they turned into zombies or something, it's not really clear how it happened or how it spread to fast, and if it was just the US or if it was the whole world. The ending was kind of disappointing as well, there isn't much resolution.

Overall though, this is a zombie movie that's meant to be funny, not scary, and it accomplishes this.

Water for Elephants

Starring Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, and Christoph Waltz, Water for Elephants is about Jacob (Pattinson) who joins the circus as its vet after his parents die. Waltz plays August, the circus owner, and Witherspoon is Marlena, his wife, and Jacob's love interest.

My thoughts on those involved: I loved, loved, loved Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds, there's something about his face, mannerisms, voice, and acting that is so fascinating you can't help but like him and want to see more. After a stumble with The Green Hornet, Waltz is back to form in Water for Elephants, he has that same vindictive but charming persona as he did in Basterds and I love him for it. I may not say it as loud and proud as others, but I am a fan of Twilight, I'll admit to not having read the books, but I have seen the movies and eagerly wait for the new one to come out this year. A big part of Twilight is, of course, Robert Pattinson, he is just so darn dreamy. His shy smile, his intense eyes, his tousled hair, strong cheekbones, he just exudes romance. In this movie he is chivalrous, smart,  moral, *sign* everything. Witherspoon is a sweetheart, enough said.

I realize this movie was based on a book, a very good book I am sure, but unfortunately I haven't read it either. I'm sad to say I haven't done a lot of reading lately, and while books are generally infinitely better than movies, they are just more of a commitment than I have been willing to make lately. Anyways, the point I was getting to was that one of my favourite aspects of this movie that the book wouldn't have(other than Waltz and Pattinson of course) is the beautiful visualizations of the 1930's (argue with me about your mind's eye all you want, valid point). The clothing, the music, the buildings, and foremost, the circus itself was just a treat for the eyes. I went to the circus probably every year it came to town when I was young and none of that comes even close to the spectacle that came out of those train boxcars.

I really liked this story too, the fact that it takes place during the American depression with a traveling circus is different and cool. The story in a story with the old Jacob telling the story kind of reminds me of The Notebook which I think we can agree on as probably one of the best love stories of our time (as a young person). But unlike The Notebook, where the chemistry between Rachael McAdams and Ryan Gosling was just bursting out of them, the same cannot be said for Reese and Robert. They kiss once, and then pretend it didn't happen, and then all of a sudden she's willing to run away with him? I'm not buying it, there wasn't enough build up or tension. No real stolen glances or hand grazes, you know, the standard forbidden love stuff. And I know they were trying to tell us that pretty much the only reason Marlena is with August is for stability, but to be honest, I believed their love for each other was stronger than Marlena's love for Jacob, and I don't think that's what the director was going for. And this lack of chemistry is what keeps this good movie from being great. I wanted their love to be so intense that it made me cry when they were torn apart or when they get their happy ending, but it didn't. That scene were August is calling out Marlena and Jacob for having an affair should have been powerful and sad, but it was just random, because in reality, nothing had really happened between them except that one kiss.

The lack of chemistry can almost be forgiven though because everything else works so well, the acting, the story, the set, all really well done. But like I said before, this movie could have been great.

   
This makes me laugh more than it should.

The Beaver

Starring Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin, and Jennifer Lawrence, The Beaver is about a man named Walter (Gibson) who is a husband and father, but suffers from depression. After finding a beaver puppet, he finds that he can talk to people better through the puppet.

I was kind of on the fence about taking the time to watch this one. On one hand, Jodie Foster will always have a special place in my heart because she is Clarice Starling. But on the other, I don't want to support Mel Gibson's crazy. Foster directs The Beaver, and she must have some balls to work with Gibson in the midst of the ruin of his personal (and I would certainly argue professional) life. But The Beaver works for me, and I actually enjoyed it.

It was easy to forget Mel's personal crazy because Walter's is almost as bad, but at least he talks through a puppet with an adorable accent which helps us to forget about the man who's attached to it. I also found it interesting that it is quite obvious that Walter is the voice the Beaver, there is no attempts at ventriloquism which I always found as a good reminder that Walter is always in control of what the Beaver is saying, even though he has a personality of his own. I also applaud the fact that this movie is very much about depression, that in a society where mental illnesses are still taboo, that this movie tackles it big time. I do wish that we would learn more about Walter's illness in the beginning, what he was like before his depression and why things changed. I really don't want to be insensitive about depression and realize that maybe nothing triggers it, but I don't know. In the end though, is the audience forced to suspend belief regarding the liklihood of this being possible? Not really, I thought it was well done and generally believeable. Would I have said "enough is enough" way before his wife did? Oh heck yes.

There was also a parallel storyline involving Walter's song Porter (Yelchin) that I also enjoyed. Yelchin I most remember from Charlie Bartlett, and I just find him so charming yet vulnerable, and he was the same in this one. His love interest is Norah (Jennifer Lawrence) who you may remember from Winter's Bone, and she is definitely a strong actor.

I was pleasantly surprised by The Beaver, it was interesting and quirky and different.

Your Highness

Starring Danny McBride, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel, and Natalie Portman, Your Highness tells the story of Prince Fabious (Franco) who goes on a quest to rescue his bride (Deschanel) after she is captured by a wizard (Justin Theroux) and his lazy brother Thadeous (McBride) is forced to come along.

Every thing I heard about this movie was negative, but I figured it couldn't be THAT bad, and I like comedies and medieval stuff, so I gave it a shot. I was pleasantly surprised actually, the movie wasn't really anything special, but it wasn't particularly bad either. The plot is pretty standard, the twists and betrayals and ending wasn't anything unexpected, there weren't many laugh out loud moments, but it was funny enough. As I have mentioned before, I am not a big fan of James Franco in real life, but I seem to like him in movies, and I really didn't mind him in Your Highness, he was pretty good-looking with the long hair, and his character was likeable. Danny McBride from Pineapple Express (which I never finished) is largely unknown to me - I keep confusing him for Dan Fogler (Balls of Fury, Take me Home Tonight) who is also a curly-haired, stoner type. McBride isn't as likeable to me as Fogler, but as the main guy behind this movie he gives the character what it needs. I was happy to see Justin Theroux's name come up in the opening credits, he's Jennifer Aniston's new person, and I really had no idea who he was until I watched this movie. Marteetee and the Great Wize Wizard were really creepy, but I guess they were supposed to be, but I was uncomfortable nonetheless.

I think what makes this movie watchable though is that it seems like everyone is having fun, they recognize the cheese and silliness and play it up. The setting, costumes, and graphics are well done, I am a sucker for princes and quests but if I had paid money to see this, I would have probably liked it less.

If you go into this movie with low expectations, you might almost enjoy it.

Limitless

Starring Bradley Cooper and Robert DeNiro, Limitless is the story of Eddie Morra, a guy trying to write a book but has a serious case of writer's block (and is an all-round schmuck) until he randomly runs into his ex-brother-in-law who gives him a drug called NZT that allows you to use all of your brain power.

My first thoughts were that the opening credits were kind of bush-league, the music and the font of the writing seemed like a cheap 90's movie or something. Afterwards though I was impressed at how unattractive they made Bradley Cooper for the first bit of the movie. I also thought the concept of a drug allowing you to optimize all of your brain was interesting. I think back to all the world history I learned in the four years of my degree, and I always say the only thing I learned was how to write an essay well, because in actuality, I remember very little of the dates and facts. I would love to be able to recall everything I ever heard or learned or saw.

I think this movie relies too much on the intrinsic interest people will have with this concept of using all of your brain and will be supported by the charm of Cooper and DeNiro, because there are many holes in the plot that just make it seem like the writers were lazy. Questions I had included: If he made so much money in those first few days, why didn't he pay back the Russian right away? What was the point of the woman being murdered, just so the lawyer could have the coat? They kind of randomly dropped that storyline. And the ended leaves it with us questioning whether he is still taking the NZT, and to be honest, I don't really care, it doesn't really make a difference if he is or not. The writers think they are being clever, but really, it's just a pointless ending. And so what that a pharmaceutical company makes the drug? And why wouldn't they ever sell it? Seems like it would be a big money-maker. I don't know it just seems like the plot was half-assed, and it would have been nice if DeNiro had some good lines or was more interesting.

With that said, it wasn't a bad movie, it certainly entertained, but I may have just been blinded by Brad's sparkling blue eyes and dreamy smile.

Insidious

I think I read something about Insidious a couple months ago and that it was a legit scary movie about a haunted house. The "legit scary movie" part interested me, but also kept me from watching it the last week because I had to build up my courage. Starring Rose Byrne who was Helen from Bridesmaids, and Patrick Wilson, who was the love interest from Morning Glory and The Switch.

So, the first half of the movie is about this family: mom, dad, and three kids. They seem like a normal enough family, until the mom starts seeing things in their new home. You know, the pretty standard creepy sounds (bonus points for scary static sounds through the baby monitor), flashes of ghosty people, you know, pretty much your standard haunting. Things take a different turn when one of the kids doesn't wake up one morning; he's in a coma for no apparent reason.

The second half consists of them finding out what this haunting and coma is all about and trying to fix it. I will leave the plot synopsis at that to avoid spoilers.

I will admit my scary movie bias here: I find the more a movie relies on scary sounds and things jumping out, or walking sneakily in the background for scares, the less legit of a scary movie I find it to be. The first half of the movie relied a lot on this sort of stuff, but it was still kind of creepy mostly because I think the family seemed so normal. There is a scene at the beginning where the mom is making breakfast for screaming kids while on the phone with some automated company while the dad is upstairs quietly brushing his teeth. This, I'm sure, is a familiar family scene for many, and I think the fact the movie takes the time to establish the normality and relatability of this family makes what later happens to them a little scarier.

When what is happening is given a name during the second half, and we know what's what, I kind of breathed a sign of relief, kind of like the unknown was scarier than what it turned out to be. The second half was more interesting than scary, I was intrigued to see where things would lead. What started out as a kind of normal-family-in-a-supernatural-situation turned into a little bit of cheese and camp. I always thought Tim Tiny's version of "Tip-toe through the Tulips" was hilarious, but after watching Insidious, it will only ever be creepy to me.

Not much new here, but it's a solid horror that keeps unnecessary gore and violence to a minimum and adds enough new stuff to the horror movie formula to keep it interesting.


...so I was just looking for the poster of this movie to put with this post and thought I would mention how ridiculous I thought the poster is. I thought demon kids ran their course with The Ring, and the kid in this movie is in a coma for the large majority of this movie anyways. Silly.